the third lesson - Reminders begone

Hi,

"Why does everything remind me of my ex?"

One of my clients, Ben, asked me this question and I
wanted to provide him and you the answer and solution.

"It’s impossible to stop thinking about it if everything
makes you think about it!" Ben explained.

Here is the reason: Our mind forms strong associations.
Okay, I didn’t drop a bomb with that fact, but here is
the interesting part...

When your brain stored memories of your ex,it took
along with it associations of sounds, smells, colors
and even things you were touching at the time. All
of those sensations form a powerful bond in your mind.

Now, when you think of your ex, you may remember
cologne they used to wear. The part you didn’t bargain
for is that it works in reverse. If you smell the
cologne, the memory of your ex comes right back up.

The smallest details will trigger a memory because
they lie deep within your subconscious mind. That’s why
you may feel like you’re having an okay day
when suddenly you hear a song that brings you to a
fit of tears. Do not feel bad – there is hope to break
some of these associations and ease your pain.

Here is the first tip: you need to make small changes
- immediately. Rearrange your furniture, cut your hair,
change your office at work, wear different perfume,
and listen to different songs. I am not advising you
to forget your ex. I am asking you to make minor
adjustment to ease your daily pain. Your associations
are strong and they are mostly subliminal – do not try
to fight them with your conscious logic.

If you haven’t done so already, gently put away the
more obvious reminders of your ex including pictures,
personal belongings, and anything else that reminds
you of them. No one is suggesting a bonfire in the front
yard – a box will do just fine. It can be upsetting
to remove these items, but keep in mind, it's not forever.

The next tip: try to socialize with a few people that did not
know you as a couple. Hanging out with all the same
friends can trigger the pain association. Mixing up some
friendships and social habits will provide tremendous
benefit.

So my question to you is, what are you going to change
today? How about a different route to work or drinking
a cup of tea instead coffee in the morning? Try it -it
will ease your pain.

Ben went through my Step to Heal program, and this is what
he had to say after the very first day, "I went through an
extremely difficult divorce. I would just like to say thank you,
because tonight I read the 1st step in the program and it was almost
like you were right here with me with the interactive videos. You
knew instinctively and exactly how I felt. Thank you for
everything you have done for me. You’ve given me renewed
optimism for the future.”


Love & Light,

Amelie Chance

Certified Coach of Positive Psychology
Heal My Broken Heart

P.S. Others have felt this pain and have found healing within
Step to Heal. Watch the video here:

http://healmybrokenheart.com/next