Happy New Year....

Is it really? I pray it will be... last year kind of sucked.
I just wish I had someone whao cared about what I care about... someone who I could share my life with.... someone I could tell "I shoveled all the slushy snow from the walk and the driveway" and they would care and maybe tell me to make sure I wore my gloves to keep warm.... you know... someone who cares about me.... I hate it that I am not anyones radar....

I spent last night with the crazy hubby and the kids.... he was trying to be nice and act like a normal person, we ate chinese food and watched a movie and kissed at midnight...  but by the time afternoon rolled around he was yelling and screaming at me and the kids to hurry up and get out to the car....

Once again, I let my guard down relaxed and expected a normal relationship to appear out of thin air between him and I.... ((heavy sigh)) I really need a boyfriend all my own... someone who I can actually invest some emotion in and not have it come back and bite me in the ass...
 

Broken Hearts and Fairy Tales

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Life is so frustrating, and it's getting over rated.
A broken heart, a fairytale it's all the same to me.
But I don't wanna be just waiting patiently
For life to come and take me away.

So I'm sitting here in silence,
and I'm pretty sure that violence
Is the only form of love I'll ever know.
But I guess that goes to show that even those filled up
with hope
have less than you can tell meets the eye.

And you lead me on and on and on again,
And on and on again, you do.
You lead me on and on and on again;
It's always on and on again;
I hope to God this hurts you too.

Life is so degrading, and I'm pretty sure I hate it.
I gotta get myself out of this town.
Before I'm broken down, lying shattered on the ground,
For all the world to see who I am.

And you lead me on and on and on again,
And on and on and on again, you do.
You lead me on and on and on again,
And on and on and on again, you do.
Said,you lead me on and on and on again,
It's always on and on again;
I hope to God this kills you too.

I wish I never loved you;
I wish I didn't care.